In the Morning at around 7:35 A.M. of 27th May 2009, he breathed for the last time. It was an end of a wonderful person and the most loved father. With his demise a loss of a wonderful person is being felt by the family and friend circle.
He left us within a span of 7 months and 7 days precisely from our mother passed away after long illness. He never accepted her demise and never tried to forget her. It was a love we envy, with each other.
Mother's illness increased gradually after she fell in 2003, while visiting a religious place in Kutch. His focus changed. He was so bussy looking after her for the next 5 years, that being her children, we had little role to play in lookig after our ill mother. He took up all the responsibility for looking after her. Some time our mother would complain, that he was acting little strict for her diet. She lived that long because of him only. She was really very lucky to have him as her husband.
But with the death of our mother, he broke down completely. His focus and mission for life had vanished. He was free in this whole world, which must have sun his head and must have felt absolutely lonely. He was too close to our mother, to have forgot her.
He was highly disturbed when our mother had expired on 20th October 2008. And he never came out of the shock. Actually he never tried honestly to come out of the shock. We tried to convince him by different means and different explanation, to which he had only one method, evade our attempt to make him forget our mother. It was a unique case, as per my friend and neighbour, Shailesh Shah, who termed it as AMAR PREM, between my mother and father. According to him, very rarely you come accross such couple, who have great commitment for each other. Very rarely people keep their promise to live and die togather, like this.
One of my other friend where he lived in Vikhroli, had seen his tearful eyes several time., when strolled with his youngest grandchild. It was a situation not very well understood wherein he never wanted to forget my mother. He must have been asking question as to why she had left him alone in this world? He must have had been in deep bout of depression due to this, but never let us even feel that way. He missed her all the time and he must have been praying God for that. It was a really tough time for us to handle his emotions.
Actually we were perhaps the most ill-equipped to understand his emotions and counter his thoughts. But his thoughts were never disclosed to anybody. Had that been done, we could have been better be able to understand what he wanted or he thought.
Truly, his love for my mother was an exception. Though we were shocked and sad, when our mother expired, the proportion was much less because we knew about her impending death, as doctors had told us that she would not make more than two months. We tried to console father at that time and we tried to reduce his sorrow. Though he agreed with us about what we said, but he was not willing to accept the reality, the death of my mother.
Actully under pressure from family and their feelings, he did tried to divert his feelings. He had been to Bhuj for quite some time. He stayed there with one of my cousine, Deepakbhai, who was alone for some time. Both were of close to same age and they shared great time together. When he came back to Mumbai, he joined a social group where he would visit few program mes monthly. At the same time he had started to visit STHANAK on daily basis. He would go for a walk in the morning, where he befriend few people of his age.
Perhaps he tried his best to forget our mother but the time was too short. He perhaps needed few more months to neutralize feelings for mother. But meanwhile the depression and loneliness took over him. And he left for eternity on 27th May 2009.
But our logic was not as strong as his love for our mother.
He left us within a span of 7 months and 7 days precisely from our mother passed away after long illness. He never accepted her demise and never tried to forget her. It was a love we envy, with each other.
Mother's illness increased gradually after she fell in 2003, while visiting a religious place in Kutch. His focus changed. He was so bussy looking after her for the next 5 years, that being her children, we had little role to play in lookig after our ill mother. He took up all the responsibility for looking after her. Some time our mother would complain, that he was acting little strict for her diet. She lived that long because of him only. She was really very lucky to have him as her husband.
But with the death of our mother, he broke down completely. His focus and mission for life had vanished. He was free in this whole world, which must have sun his head and must have felt absolutely lonely. He was too close to our mother, to have forgot her.
He was highly disturbed when our mother had expired on 20th October 2008. And he never came out of the shock. Actually he never tried honestly to come out of the shock. We tried to convince him by different means and different explanation, to which he had only one method, evade our attempt to make him forget our mother. It was a unique case, as per my friend and neighbour, Shailesh Shah, who termed it as AMAR PREM, between my mother and father. According to him, very rarely you come accross such couple, who have great commitment for each other. Very rarely people keep their promise to live and die togather, like this.
One of my other friend where he lived in Vikhroli, had seen his tearful eyes several time., when strolled with his youngest grandchild. It was a situation not very well understood wherein he never wanted to forget my mother. He must have been asking question as to why she had left him alone in this world? He must have had been in deep bout of depression due to this, but never let us even feel that way. He missed her all the time and he must have been praying God for that. It was a really tough time for us to handle his emotions.
Actually we were perhaps the most ill-equipped to understand his emotions and counter his thoughts. But his thoughts were never disclosed to anybody. Had that been done, we could have been better be able to understand what he wanted or he thought.
Truly, his love for my mother was an exception. Though we were shocked and sad, when our mother expired, the proportion was much less because we knew about her impending death, as doctors had told us that she would not make more than two months. We tried to console father at that time and we tried to reduce his sorrow. Though he agreed with us about what we said, but he was not willing to accept the reality, the death of my mother.
Actully under pressure from family and their feelings, he did tried to divert his feelings. He had been to Bhuj for quite some time. He stayed there with one of my cousine, Deepakbhai, who was alone for some time. Both were of close to same age and they shared great time together. When he came back to Mumbai, he joined a social group where he would visit few program mes monthly. At the same time he had started to visit STHANAK on daily basis. He would go for a walk in the morning, where he befriend few people of his age.
Perhaps he tried his best to forget our mother but the time was too short. He perhaps needed few more months to neutralize feelings for mother. But meanwhile the depression and loneliness took over him. And he left for eternity on 27th May 2009.
But our logic was not as strong as his love for our mother.
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4 comments:
What a sort and simple full of sympathy and sorrow express very well. I do envy you.
Total very well explain life of fua, which i admire him so much of his kind nature. The best Fai and fua i loved. I am sure that fui and fua's blessing and goodwill is with you and every one in family that help us out of life trouble of any kind. I am sure his blessing is on you and Kavan very much so like early morning Sun rays.
Our prayer is with you and your family.
God bless.
Mayank Shah
hi kaka
dont feel that ur alone , we all are ther to support u and stand by u in ur sad and happy time.
we know we can just be there but we can not take his place.
but we all are there with u.
take care and live life to its fullest................
It is clear from your touching eulogy that kaka was full of love for kaki. To those that didn't have the privilege to know him, his love for everyone was just as infinite. His brother passed away at a young age leaving eight very young children. He himself was very young at the time, but nonetheless raised and loved his brother's kids as his own and never let them feel their loss. When those children had kids, he became their grandfather. I am one of the grandsons and I can still remember looking forward to going to his house during summer vacations because he spoiled us everytime we were there. He was truly a great man and his loss will be felt by many for a long time.
A deep loss of being loosing the parents, the purest form of relation and source of love and affection. The source of our life, the effort they have taken to mould us, the pains they have to face to make us happy, the care they pour on us, some how we feel in our heart that we have become alone, in this world without their love.
But since the human life is meant for Karma, which he has gracefully fullfilled, he has to have a Mukthi, for which this is the means. Lets all remember him and pray god that his soul rest in peace, and always his blessings be on us to do the right things and guide us in life.
I had seen them many years ago, but still remember their love and affection.
Let god give you the strength to you , your brother and all family members to face this situation.
K K MOhandas
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